Click here for daily readingsIn today’s Gospel, Jesus calls out the Pharisees for holding tradition over the commandments. They would allow someone to desert their parents, leaving them destitute, because that person wanted to give their time, money, attention, and presence to serving God above taking care of their own family.
Over a decade ago, I attended an ACTS Retreat and encountered God in a personal way. Part of that encounter included a knowing, or calling, from God that one day the retreat would come to my parish and I would be one of its leaders. I waited patiently for five years, serving as my children’s catechist until that day arrived when what God spoke came to pass.
Our first retreat required many weeks of meetings and preparation. One Sunday, we set up a registration table inviting parishioners to sign up. One of my church acquaintances politely declined, saying she’d been asked several times by mutual friends. She requested that I let the team know that she had no interest in being involved in any way with this retreat. Sensing a painful experience behind her answer, I gently asked if she would share with me the reason for her deeply rooted conviction.
She disclosed that for many years her husband’s family was very involved in this ministry at their home parish in another state. They were so involved that they routinely put serving on the retreat over being present for their family. As teenagers and young adults, she and her husband were wounded because his family would decline attending family activities in order to serve on the retreat teams and weekend events.
While the parents saw it as honoring God, serving Him through serving others, their young adult children received the message that they were not important. This generated great resentment toward the retreat ministry, because it denied them their desired family experiences and activities.
I thanked her sincerely for sharing this information with me. Later, I carefully thought about what she’d said. Are we supposed to sacrifice our family so we can say we’re honoring the greatest commandment of loving God and loving others? Do we risk doing this sometimes when we choose to serve God in our Parish over loving and serving our families? I firmly resolved that when faced with this in the future, I would intentionally choose my family and children and their priorities over the retreat community. I pray my family recognizes the many times I’ve put them first.
Today, I invite you to carefully consider what traditions you hold onto that conflict with or require you to turn away from loving and serving your family. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in finding a healthy balance.
En el Evangelio de hoy, Jesús critica a los fariseos por anteponer la tradición a los mandamientos. Permitían que alguien abandonara a sus padres, dejándolos en la indigencia, porque esa persona quería dedicar su tiempo, dinero, atención y presencia a servir a Dios por encima del cuidado de su propia familia.
Hace más de una década, asistí a un retiro de ACTS y tuve un encuentro personal con Dios. Parte de ese encuentro incluyó la certeza, o el llamado, de Dios de que un día el retiro llegaría a mi parroquia y yo sería uno de sus líderes. Esperé pacientemente durante cinco años, sirviendo como catequista de mis hijos, hasta que llegó ese día en que lo que Dios me había dicho se cumplió.
El primer retiro requirió muchas semanas de reuniones y preparación. Un domingo, instalamos una mesa de registro invitando a los feligreses a inscribirse. Una conocida de mi iglesia declinó cortésmente, diciendo que amigos en común le habían invitado varias veces. Me pidió que le hiciera saber al equipo que no tenía ningún interés en participar de ninguna manera en este retiro. Intuyendo una experiencia dolorosa tras su respuesta, le pregunté con delicadeza si podía compartir conmigo el motivo de su profunda convicción.
Me reveló que, durante muchos años, la familia de su esposo estuvo muy involucrada en este ministerio en su parroquia, ubicada en otro estado. Estaban tan involucrados que, con frecuencia, priorizaban el servicio en el retiro por encima de estar presentes para su familia. De adolescentes y jóvenes adultos, ella y su esposo se sintieron heridos porque su familia se negaba a asistir a las actividades familiares para servir en los equipos de retiro y los eventos de fin de semana.
Mientras que los padres lo veían como honrar a Dios, servirle a través del servicio a los demás, sus hijos, jóvenes adultos, recibían el mensaje de que no eran importantes. Esto generó un gran resentimiento hacia el ministerio de retiros, porque les negaba las experiencias y actividades familiares que deseaban.
Le agradecí sinceramente que compartiera esta información conmigo. Más tarde, reflexioné detenidamente sobre lo que había dicho. ¿Se supone que debemos sacrificar a nuestra familia para poder decir que honramos el mandamiento más importante de amar a Dios y amar al prójimo? ¿Nos arriesgamos a hacer esto a veces cuando elegimos servir a Dios en nuestra parroquia en lugar de amar y servir a nuestras familias? He decidido firmemente que, al enfrentarme a esto en el futuro, priorizaré a mi familia, a mis hijos y a sus necesidades por encima de la comunidad de retiro. Espero que mi familia reconozca las muchas veces que los he priorizado.
Hoy, los invito a considerar cuidadosamente cuáles tradiciones suyas entran en conflicto con su familia o les obligan a dejar de amarla y servirla. Pidan al Espíritu Santo que los guíe para encontrar un equilibrio saludable.
Shelly Henley Kelly is a wife, mother of three, and native Texan who writes and records a podcast with her sister on Of Sound Mind and Spirit and is a regular contributor to Catholic Mom. When not writing or recording, Shelly can be found volunteering as a Youth Ministry Catechist, keeping the scorebook at her son’s baseball games, diving deep into historical research, or hiding with a good book in between games.
Feature Image Credit: kazuend, unsplash.com/photos/2-person-walking-on-the-street-0CHEC4_wX1I
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