The first reading at Mass today discusses the role of men and women in a Christian marriage. So beautiful! So demanding (in a good way)!
A few of the words used by St. Paul to the Ephesians in this passage can easily cause a negative knee-jerk reaction. There are people who, in our sound-bite culture, won’t pause to consider the true substance of this passage. Whenever we are caught off guard by a Scripture passage, it is important to humble ourselves and take the time to explore what is actually being said. We should take these passages to prayer and reflect on what the Church says about them.
When it comes to Christian marriage, I find it helpful to think of man as the head of the home and woman as the heart— an image explored by Pope Pius XI in his encyclical Casti Connubii (On Christian Marriage). The husband is the “head” as he imitates Christ, loving his bride radically and pouring out his life in service of her as he leads the family. The wife offers her wisdom and unique gifts to unite the family in love. Practical duties of the spouses may overlap, and there is constant cooperation. “Subordinate to one another,” husbands and wives work together peaceably and effectively in their vital mission.
This is the ideal marriage. But the ideal is never easy to attain (especially when marriage involves two imperfect human beings, one of whom may be less invested than the other). The Catechism reminds us that, while God made men and women for each other, since sin entered the world, their “union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts” (CCC 1606).
What to do? Our world’s answer to the ongoing conflicts between the sexes has only weakened and wounded individuals and families. The Christian ideal, being difficult to attain, has been trampled on and discarded.
There is an answer though. The only way to create and maintain harmony between men and women is to follow Jesus Christ. He gives us the strength and grace to have holy marriages through the power of His Cross. The world doesn’t have solutions to our (very real) problems because society tries to solve those problems without Jesus, without His Holy Spirit, and without His Church.
Though no marriage is perfect, real Christian marriage is the stuff of true-life fairytales, with spouses outdoing each other in service and generosity. No two Godly marriages are alike, but they all have common components: they strive for the ideal and trust in Jesus.
Climactically, the power of such radical communion between two people in marriage is meant to be a witness to Christ’s love for us. He wants to wed us. He wants us to live “happily ever after” with Him. People are supposed to look at Catholic marriages and say, “Aha, I see what free, total, faithful, and fruitful love looks like! I understand what Christ wants to give me and what He wants in return. And it is terrifyingly beautiful.”
Daily Reading
Thursday of the Thirtieth Week in Ordinary Time
Reading 1 EPH 6:10-20 Brothers and sisters: Draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Put on the armor of God so that you may be able…
Saint of the Day
Saint Wolfgang
Bishop Wolfgang of Regensburg (d. 994) was a Benedictine monk, missionary, and reformer, known for his dedication to the clergy, education, and the poor.
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