I recently told Jesus that if “x”, “y”, and “z” were true about Him, then I didn’t want Him. Those words echoed in my mind for days with an anguish deeper than the pain that caused me to utter them. How could I speak to my Lord with such hatred? How could I treat my best Friend with such harsh and bitter distrust? Some of life’s trials are too hard for me to bear on my own and my behavior is obviously not always in line with my beliefs.
But, thank God it’s Wednesday of Holy Week (also known as “Spy Wednesday” due to Judas’ betrayal) and the hope of new beginnings is just around the bend. Judas’ story may hit hard if we recognize that all of us at one point or another have been in his shoes and have rejected our Lord. Today is a beautiful opportunity to let Jesus root out those wounds of sin to restore our loyalty to Him. We must first examine the reasons why we, like Judas, might betray Jesus.
Judas was a part of Jesus’s inner circle, an apostle entrusted to carry out the mission of growing the infant Church. I propose that Judas, like most of us, lost sight of God for a moment. Sometimes in our grief, self-centeredness, cynicism, and hopelessness we lose sight of who God is and what He is about. We forget that we are His and we are made for relationship with Him.
Was Judas hoping to gain something by following Jesus? If Judas really believed that Jesus was the Messiah, perhaps he was disappointed when he realized that Jesus wouldn’t become a political ruler. There would be no status change for the Jews and no political gain for Judas. Many of us can relate to the anger and pain of dashed hopes. It may not be about social status, but the loss of a child, a job, the feeling of being stuck, or something else. Sometimes we allow life’s let downs to blind us from God and His plan. We hold too tightly to our dreams and unknowingly turn our backs on Jesus by slowly hardening our hearts, stonewalling God, and disbelieving that God has good plans for us.
Fear also motivates our sin. What could Judas have been afraid of? Maybe as Jesus’ imminent death sank in, the fear of wasting three years of his life prompted a yearning to get something out of the deal. Or, maybe he finally felt like he belonged to something greater and the impending doom of his Rabbi caused him to panic, so he tried to wiggle his way into another circle of belonging. Fear instigates many peculiar behaviors such as gossiping, betrayal, and altogether rejecting the other.
Reflecting on the dispositions of our soul is essential to a relationship with God. I encourage you to enter into the Triduum with humility, honesty, and contrition. Know that God’s mercy is greater than our sins and his friendship is sweeter than any earthly gain.
Daily Reading
Feast of Saints Philip and James, Apostles
Reading 1 1 Corinthians 15:1-8 I am reminding you, brothers and sisters, of the Gospel I preached to you, which you indeed received and in which you also stand. Through…
Saint of the Day
Saint Hunna
Saint Hunna, “the Holy Washerwoman,” washed and cared for the poor in Strasbourg, earning her name through her noble acts of service.
The post Saint Hunna appeared first on uCatholic.